Blue Origin's 2nd New Glenn Launch: What's the Point?

Alright, let's get this straight. Another launch? Another round of breathless hype about Blue Origin? Give me a break. Jeff Bezos, the guy who perfected one-click shopping and then treated his warehouse employees like robots, now wants us to believe he's going to conquer space. Again.

New Glenn: A Shiny Distraction?

So, New Glenn is supposedly launching again on Sunday. November 9th, they're saying. A "crucial test," the PR spin screams. Crucial for who, exactly? For Bezos' ego? For NASA, who's apparently hitching a ride to Mars with this thing?

They're sending the ESCAPADE mission on it, which, fine, sounds cool. Twin spacecraft orbiting Mars, studying solar winds. But let's be real: this is also about Bezos proving he can play in Elon Musk's sandbox. The constant comparisons to SpaceX are offcourse impossible to ignore. Starship is bigger, shinier, and already further along. Is New Glenn just a vanity project designed to keep Bezos relevant in the space race?

And the booster is nicknamed "Never Tell Me the Odds?" Seriously? It's like they're trying to jinx it.

The first launch in January didn't exactly inspire confidence. Upper stage made it to orbit, sure, but the booster? Lost during descent. They call that a "partial success" in the press releases. I call it a multi-billion dollar oopsie.

They're going to try landing the booster on a drone ship again. CEO Dave Limp's quote is classic: "What if we don't stick the landing? That's OK." Oh, it's OK? Easy for him to say, he's not the one whose billions are going up in flames. "We've got several more New Glenn boosters already in production." Translation: "We have so much money we can afford to crash a few rockets." Which is reassuring, I guess. For Bezos.

The Reusability Hype

Blue Origin keeps touting the reusability of New Glenn. Twenty-five flights, they claim. But let's see them actually do it first. Talk is cheap, especially when you're backed by Amazon-sized coffers.

It's supposed to haul Amazon's Project Kuiper satellites into orbit, too. You know, the ones that are supposed to blanket the planet with internet. Because what we really need is more screens and more ways for Bezos to track our every move.

And speaking of Amazon... I ordered a new phone charger last week, and it arrived in a box big enough to hold a small refrigerator. The amount of cardboard waste this company generates is mind-boggling. Maybe Bezos should focus on solving that problem before trying to colonize Mars. Just a thought.

The Space Tourism Sideshow

Don't even get me started on New Shepard, the little tourist rocket they launch from Texas. Katy Perry and Gayle King went up on that thing. Eighty people have experienced "views of Earth and a few minutes of weightlessness." Meanwhile, back on Earth, people are struggling to afford groceries.

They say New Glenn is comparable to NASA's Space Launch System. But is it really? SLS is actually going to the moon, for starters. New Glenn is going... to Mars eventually, maybe, with a NASA payload. It feels like Blue Origin is always playing catch-up, always second-best.

So, What's the Point?

Blue Origin is a company built on hype and Bezos' deep pockets. They promise the moon (literally, maybe), but so far, they've delivered mostly delays and expensive fireworks. This second launch is a big deal, sure. But even if they "stick the landing" this time, it doesn't change the fundamental question: is Blue Origin actually contributing anything meaningful to space exploration, or is it just another billionaire's ego trip? I honestly don't know anymore. Maybe I'm just being cynical.

Just Another Rich Guy's Toy?